


Mission Impossible: Facetime Protocol

by brightasstars, ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy), high_warlock_of_brooklyn, Miss_Shiva_Adler, Skylar102, TobytheWise



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Background Raphael/Jace/Simon, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26959891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightasstars/pseuds/brightasstars, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell, https://archiveofourown.org/users/high_warlock_of_brooklyn/pseuds/high_warlock_of_brooklyn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Shiva_Adler/pseuds/Miss_Shiva_Adler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/pseuds/Skylar102, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobytheWise/pseuds/TobytheWise
Summary: When Alec accidentally hears his roommate and longtime crush, Magnus, masturbating, he needs the help of his family and friends to devise a plan. A plan that’ll get this entire situation off his mind and out of Magnus’ call history.These are those (horrible) plans.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 161
Kudos: 195





	1. Jace

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody and welcome to the riveting multi-author and multi-POV fic that was born from an incredibly silly prompt on the Hunter's Moon Discord Server. This is a Round Robin fic which means each chapter added will be written by a new author. We'll be posting a chapter a day until the entire fic is posted so make sure to strap in for a week long telling of this tale. 
> 
> The first chapter is by Toby. I hope you enjoy <3

A frantic knocking on the door has Jace jolting awake. He groans as he rubs his eyes, trying to get his bearings. 

“Shhhh,” Simon murmurs, still half asleep, his arm flinging out to grab Jace and pull him back to bed. Jace contemplates it until there’s  _ another _ knock. 

He picks up a shirt on his way to his bedroom door, pulling it over his head. He opens the door only enough to peak his eyes out, freezing when he finds Alec standing there looking frazzled and upset. 

“Dude, what?”

“I need your help,” Alec hisses, trying to push his way into Jace’s room. Jace holds the door shut, not letting him in. “Come on, let me in. This is a matter of  _ life or death _ .”

“No, I uh, I’m not alone in here.”

“What?” Alec raises on his toes, trying to look over Jace’s head. “Who’s here? Someone from your book club?”

Jace hears a dark snort come from his bed and his cheeks heat up. “No. Just tell me what you need.”

Alec holds up his phone, waving it in Jace’s face. “I fucked up so bad,” Alec hisses under his breath. “I was in my room and I didn’t feel like getting up yet but I knew Magnus and I were supposed to go get coffee. So I figured I’d FaceTime him to see if he was awake.”

“Right. As one does,” Jace says slowly. 

“And Chairman answered for Magnus,” Alec tells him, his cheeks turning bright red. “And I  _ heard stuff _ .”

“What kind of stuff?”

Alec looks away. “Like intimate, alone-time stuff.”

“Okay so you heard our flatmate jerking off. So what?”

Alec’s eyes go wild as he stares at Jace. “Jace. He said  _ Alexander _ .”

“ _ Oh _ . Well. That’s an interesting twist to the story.”

“No. You don’t get it. I have to break into his room, steal his phone, and  _ delete _ the call history otherwise he’s gonna  _ know _ .”

Jace taps his chin. He’s so distracted thinking of a plan that he forgets to keep the door closed. Alec sees it as an invitation, pushing inside before freezing and making a noise at the back of his throat. 

Jace turns around, finding his boyfriends sitting up in bed, watching this exchange. Simon has wide worried eyes while Raphael is looking bored with the entire situation. 

“Oh,” Alec whispers. “Wow.” 

Jace shoves Alec back outside. “You go get Clary and Izzy and we’ll get dressed and meet you in the dining room.”

“What? Why?”

“Because we’re gonna figure this out. Mission ‘Steal Magnus’ Phone’ is a go!”

~~~

“Okay,” Jace says, leaning his hands against the table and looking around at everyone. Clary is sitting in Izzy’s lap, both looking half asleep still. Raphael is currently smiling down at his phone, no doubt texting Ragnor about the situation and getting his feedback. Simon is looking at Jace with a smile and Alec looks even  _ more _ frazzled than before. “So here’s the deal. Alec needs that phone and this is how we’re gonna do it.”

Jace slides a notepad and a pen over to Alec. “Here’s what we’ll need; a trained monkey, some gasoline, and a match. That’s it.”

“I’m sorry,  _ what _ ?” Clary asks, suddenly looking way more awake. Everyone in the room groans dramatically.

“Not the monkey thing  _ again _ ,” Izzy whines.

“Let’s just hear him out,” Raphael says. “At the very least we’ll be entertained for the next two minutes.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,  _ babe _ ,” Jace snarks back, narrowing his eyes. Then he turns back to Alec. “Okay. So step one is easy. We douse the entire house with the gasoline. We’ll all be prepared to move because once I drop the match things are gonna get  _ wild _ .” 

“Are you really writing this down?” Izzy whispers, looking over Alec’s shoulder. 

Alec shrugs. “I’m desperate.”

“Once the fire catches we’ll have to move fast. And this my friends, is where our monkey friend will come in. We’ll train him to run into Magnus’ room, snag the phone, and then jump out his window. The monkey will crawl down the fire escape with the phone. Then he’ll find me. It will be my job to go through the phone and delete the call history.”

“Mhmm, mhmm. I’m with you so far,” Simon says, his brows wrinkled seriously. 

“This is when the fun part happens,” Jace says, waving a hand towards Alec. “It’ll be  _ your _ job to be the knight in shining armour. You’ll burst into Magnus’ room, sweep him and the Chairman Meow off their feet before carrying them to safety. Once we’re all outside I will ninja sneak the phone into Magnus’ pocket.”

“Right,” Alec says slowly. 

“This plan is perfect because not only do we get a new pet monkey  _ and _ the call history being cleared but  _ also _ you get to be the hero. Magnus will fall all over himself to pay you back for saving his life.”

Jace looks around the table, waiting for everyone’s reaction. Finally Clary begins to giggle. And that sets everyone else off. Jace sits down in his chair with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Ha, ha, ha, laugh it up,” he says. 

“Don’t worry, we will,” Raphael says, the tips of his lips twitching. 

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” Jace says with a pout. 

“That’s a stupid rule. I’m not going to be on your side if your plan is idiotic.” Then he lifts his phone. “And Ragnor says this plan quite literally blows. As in it’ll blow up in your face. And possibly the entire neighborhood.” 

Jace looks over to Alec who’s still writing down on his notepad. “Alec?”

Alec looks up, his brows wrinkled in thought. “I don’t know, Jace. I’m writing pros and cons to this and things aren’t looking good. For one our house would get destroyed in a house fire.”

_ “That’s _ the only reason you’re against this?” Clary asks, her voice high in disbelief. 

“What about the monkey?” Izzy asks. “Where would we even  _ find _ a monkey? And it would take forever to train it.”

“Not to mention Alec might be buff but having him carry Magnus and Chairman down all these stairs just  _ screams _ disaster,” Simon adds on.

“Fine,” Jace says, gesturing towards everyone at the table. “If my plan sucks so much why don’t one of  _ you _ give it a try. I doubt you’ll come up with something more sophisticated and  _ well thought out _ as mine.”

It’s Clary who stands up, a smug look on her face. Izzy gazes up at her, a small smile playing at her lips. “Okay,” Clary says, looking around at everyone, “so here’s what  _ I’m _ thinking….”


	2. Clary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Elle (ByTheAngell) here with chapter two, hope you enjoy it!

“Okay,” Clary says, looking around at everyone, “so here’s what _I’m_ thinking….”

Clary closes her eyes a bit dramatically, taking a moment to really think through and complete the visual she has in her head. She smiles to herself, nods once, then opens her eyes again. For something she came up with spur of the moment she’s confident that, at the very least, it’s more thought out than Jace’s plan.

“First, Iz, you go back to your room and get some of that makeup powder you have and meet Jace and me on the roof,” Clary says. “I’m going to rappel down the side of the building to Magnus’ window. While I’m doing that, Simon, I need you to go knock on Magnus’ door and distract him.”

“Why me?” Simon asks, frowning.

“Because you’re the only one of us who can talk to him for however long I need without it being suspicious,” Clary points out.

Raphael huffs out a laugh and sends another quick text on his phone but says nothing.

“You know, because you talk a lo-”

“Yeah, thanks, I get it,” Simon cuts her off indignantly. “And what are you doing while I distract him?” Simon asks.

“ _I,_ ” Clary says, already sounding very proud of herself as she gets to the best part. “Am going to cut a hole in the glass on the window. Once that’s done I can sneak in, grab the phone, and sneak back out. When I get it back up to the roof Izzy can use the powder on the screen so we can see where he touched it the most, and use that to get his code to unlock the phone and delete the call.”

Alec, just like before, writes down a few things as she speaks. Knowing time is of the essence here, a reminder she gets from the way Alec starts to anxiously tap the pen on the pad, Clary wraps her plan up quickly.

“Then I rappel back down, put the phone back, replace the glass, and _boom_ , done.”

There’s silence when she’s done talking that Clary takes as a good sign until Jace shakes his head slowly.

“I can’t believe you said _my_ plan was bad,” he says, the first to break the silence.

“That’s because your plan _was_ bad. What’s wrong with mine?” Clary asks indignantly, hands on her hips.

“Why am I on the roof with you?” Jace asks.

“Because you’re holding the rope I’m using to climb down the side of the building!” Clary explains as if that part should’ve been obvious. It was when she pictured it in her head at least.

“Why are you even doing that? We have a fire escape,” Simon points out.

“Have you ever used it? It’s old and creaky and he’ll hear me coming from a mile away if I try to sneak down that deathtrap,” Clary defends.

“Why don’t I have a role in this ridiculous scheme?” Raphael asks suddenly.

“Do you want one?” Clary counters.

“...no,” Raphael admits.

Clary smiles and shoots him a wink. “You’re welcome.”

“Is everyone done trying to poke holes in my genius plan?” Clary demands, her gaze a challenge as she looks around the group.

Alec glances down to the paper in his hands and back up at Clary. “It sure is… an option,” he says, obviously trying to be nice and not shoot her down outright. “Do we even own a rope? Or anything to cut glass with?”

Clary hesitates but covers it up quickly with a casual shrug. “We can tie sheets together for a rope. And I’m sure some of my sculpting knives can cut glass.” She’s not actually sure of that at all but she’s too invested in selling the idea to admit it.

Clary notes that Isabelle has been suspiciously quiet since she gave her plan, and turns to face her now. “Iz? You think it’s good, right?”

“I think it’s… very creative,” Izzy says, and Clary pouts. She knows Izzy well enough to read between the lines and know her girlfriend is just humoring her to be nice. “I’m sorry, babe. Just because we binged three seasons of Leverage and you want to be Parker when you grow up doesn’t mean you can pull off an impromptu cell phone heist.”

“Alright, well at least my idea didn’t burn down the building. If anyone has something better I’m all ears. Otherwise, I’m getting the bedsheets,” Clary says.

“Well,” Simon starts. “Since I _love to talk so much_ …”


	3. The name's Lewis. Simon Lewis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading! Hope you like it 💙

“Well,” Simon starts, “Since  _ I love to talk so much- _ ”

“I’m not hearing the end of this anytime soon, am I?” Clary hangs her head.

“You diggeth your grave, now layeth in it.” Simon glares. “Anyway, Alexander, heed my advice, young padawan.”

“I’m....heed....ing?” Alec’s face scrunches up cutely in confusion.

“Pay attention.” Simon chastises. “Listen to me very carefully. You have made a great mistake. Like, the fandom shipping LukeLeia level of screw up. There is only one way to rectify this.”

“Okay.” Alec sounds hopeful. Simon fixes him with a stare.

“Leave the country.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“What!”

“Idiota.”

“Si!”

“That sounds pretty reasonable.” Jace shrugs.

Izzy glares daggers at her brother. “How do you two dumbasses even survive with ideas like this?”

“Love conquers all.” Simon makes heart-eyes at his boyfriend.

“Just for the record, Ragnor is saying he doesn’t know these ‘ _ borderline braindead moronic heights of stupidity _ ’.” Raphael puts up a palm. “And I’d like to second that.”

“You’re sleeping on the couch for the next week.” Jace jabs a finger at his way.

“Um-” Alec puts up his hand in question. “I need to update my passport if I’m leaving the country.”

“You’re not leaving the country.” Izzy waves it off dismissively.

“I think he should leave the country.” Jace shrugs.

“Everyone stop saying  _ ‘leave the country’ _ .” Clary fists up her hands, before turning to her best friend. “Si, know I say this with all the love in my heart, that was the stupidest idea I’ve heard. Ever. And Jace’s included a monkey.”

“Words hurt, Fray.” Simon pouts. “And besides, I wasn’t telling Alec to leave the country permanently. He was gonna come back, just, y’know, later.”

“Later?” Izzy cocks a perfectly shaped eyebrow. How she looks like a freaking supermodel in the middle of the night is a mystery Simon knows he’ll never solve.

“Yes. Later. After he’s a super successful spy.”

“I am?” Alec stops in the middle of scribbling in his notebook. 

“Yes of course you are! And you’re summoned back in the States, to combat the head of an international criminal empire,  _ The Crimson Hand _ .” Simon’s eyes sparkle with excitement. “I can see the title. The Prodigal Son returns.”

“Can we talk about how you had a criminal organisation name handy?”

“Shh, just listen.” Simon shuts the blonde up. “Just imagine, Alec, all in black, which, frankly shouldn’t be a problem really, sorry Alec, but it’s true, anyway, he’s back in the States, and Raphael is all scary and boss-like, head of the spy organization, all starched collar and a new suit, maybe that dark green waistcoat one, one that has his arms-”

“Simon.” Clary clears her throat.

“Right uh- I- um- I-” Simon swallows thickly, Raphael and Jace sparing amused glances at the nervous brunette. Simon carries on. “Anyways, so, Raphael, in his usual, very regal manner, tells Alec that his mission, should he choose to accept it, would be to take down this criminal lynchpin. Then Izzy supplies him with the cool gadgets.”

“Oh good, I’m here too.” Izzy rolls her eyes.

“Have some hope, ye of little faith.” Simon winks. “You’re  **_I_ ** . You’re the awesome tech genius. And after you equip him, Jace informs him that the Crimson Hand is having a masked gala tonight, and he’s got a king to murder.”

“So I’m Moneypenny?” Jace asks.

“Ok, we’re gonna talk about how you know about Moneypenny later, but for now,” Simon turns to face Alec, “You go to the gala, and dance. End of the night, you go to the kingpin’s office, and try to ambush him. He matches you, blow for blow, the fight turning into an almost dance, and just before he tries to punch you, you pin him down, straddling him, and you pull off the mask from his face, and then- then-”

“Then what?” Clary leans in with anticipation.

“You realize the kingpin’s Magnus.” Simon’s lips curve up in a shit-eating grin. “This isn’t a thriller, this is a rom-com. See guys?”

Everyone stares at the bespectacled brunette, expressions ranging from amused to frustrated to plain confused.

“I don’t think this is happening. In any way. Whatsoever.” Alec looks scandalized, eyebrows threatening to permanently creep into his hairline. “And Magnus has too good of a heart to be a criminal lynch- whatever.”

“Aww, look at our big bro.” Izzy coos. “One sexytimes phone call, and he’s in loovveee.”

“Back to the point,” Alec tries to hide the red creeping up his neck. “Simon is no help.”

“Literally no-one is surprised.”  Raphael rolls his eyes. “But here’s a good option, maybe....” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Tell us in the comments or find us on tumblr! 💙


	4. Raphael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is my contribution, it was nice to try my hand at crack for once. Enjoy !

“Literally no-one is surprised.” Raphael rolls his eyes. “But here’s a good option, maybe....” He smiles. “Tell him,” everyone gasps in unison, looking at Raphael as if he was coming from outer space. “Like isn’t that the best course of action ?”

“No !” Clary shouts.

“Raph...” Simon tries.

“Babe...” Jace tries as well.

“No way, that’s not happening.” Izzy is the only one who snorts as she keeps her girlfriend on her lap. “There is no way Alec will be doing that.”

“You are all going back and forth between plans that are just weird. Like a monkey ? really ?” Jace blushes and tries to say something but Raphael puts a finger on his lips, staring at his boyfriend. Jace slumps back, annoyed, into the couch.

He shakes his phone in Alec’s direction. His brows are creased with concern. He hates doing this. “Ragnor agrees, there is a time where things just need to be out.” Alec seems to halt his pen on the paper as Raphael continues: “I’ve known Magnus for a couple of years now, I think he’d enjoy the honesty of your action, of talking to him that is...”

There is silence and then collectively the others, except Alec, start saying all kinds of variants of “Yeah that’s not happening.” Echo into the room. It’s loud before it dies down.

Raphael sighs, rubbing his fingers against his forehead a headache is already forming at the forefront of his mind. 

“Oh come on, it’s not that complicated, you use words.” He gestures in the void. He curses in spanish as he sees everyone still looking at him as if he was some kind of foreign entity. “You go confess you’re into him. He says the same, you all start kissing and taking off clothes and do whatever you people do when you have heard each other masturbating.”

“He wasn’t masturbating, Magnus was.” Izzy has a giggle to her tone that makes Raphael irritated. 

“You wanted advice, I’m giving my advice and Ragnor’s. We’ve known Magnus since high school. Trust me I think that honesty is the best course of action here.” 

His comment is met with silence.

“What is the other option ? Breaking into a hospital and finding some kind of zombie virus that government operatives have been working on and releasing it into the public ? And when the apocalypse comes every single phone will just shut down and there won’t be any problem anymore.” Raphael says as he is typing blindly on his phone. He smirks and everything backfires when Clary starts validating whatever he just said without actually thinking. 

“Yes ! Yes, that’s a sensible plan. Finally you’re making sense. Which hospital would it be ?” Clary nudges Simon as Izzy lets her out from her lap. 

“I think there is one for tropical diseases 27 minutes from here says google.” Simon checks his phone as he draws a small map on how to get to the said hospital. 

Raphael needs to physically restrain himself from trying to shake some sense into everyone. Especially Alec, who hasn’t said anything about his suggestion at all. He seems lost in contemplation and doesn’t seem willing to share whatever he is thinking. It reminds Raphael of when he first had met Alec : troubled and unable to make up his mind. At least now Alec has given up most of his stubbornness. Which makes Alec at least likable in Raphael’s book. Him and Magnus would make a good match.  If only they talked to each other. 

“Dios, you’re all impossible,” Raphael groans as his phone pings. He reads the text, “Ragnor agrees and says it’s ‘utter bloody nonsense’.” And yet Alec is writing down exactly what he just said with Clary and Simon’s additions.

Raphael shakes his head before he catches Jace’s gaze. “What ?” he says in a biting tone. He wants to go back to bed or get more coffee.

“You actually watched Resident Evil.” Jace is beaming and Raphael glares at him.

“Shut up,” He cuts off but there is a blush on his face. “Yes I did. It was ridiculous and the plot was pointless. Hated every minute of it.”

“How many of them have you watched ?” Jace is teasing and Raphael let’s it in because his boyfriends were always past his defences before he could do anything about it.

“All 6 of them,” Simon turns around because yes, obviously he was listening as well. “not now, let’s get back to the matter at hand.” He sees Simon wanting to protest.

“Izzy, you’re the one who usually keeps this whole group on the right track, please tell me that I’m right and that talking is the best option.”

“Well actually I have a better idea.”


	5. Izzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you all! That's my chapter. It's been great writing this collab fic with all these amazing writers and lovely friends. Enjoy!

"Oh really?" Jace says, looking at Izzy and raising his brows, an annoyed expression on his face.

"Jace, never forget, I am one of the few people you know who can murder you and actually leave no forensic evidence," Izzy snaps back, standing in front of Alec.

"Izzy…," Jace continues, "...this is not one of your murders to solve, it's just a fucking FaceTime call history, you don't need to twist your brain cells to solve this, it's more a practical issue."

Izzy turns and stares at him, sighing.

"I know it's hard for you to get how much I can be of help, Jace, since the only brain connections actively functioning in you are the ones that get straight to your dick…," she sniggers and spins towards Alec again, adjusting the glasses on her nose.

"Are you ready Alec? Concentrate and try to keep up, if you miss a passage you'll fuck up everything ok?", and Alec nods vigorously.

If Alec has to be honest, he already knows that he won't get a thing of what Izzy is going to explain, still, he tries every time, as stubborn as he is.

"Ok. First of all, Magnus. We need to steal his phone without him knowing. Chloroform."

Alec's brows raise up to his hair.

"What?" Raphael asks bewildered, "you want to drug Magnus?"

"Ah….," Izzy rolls her eyes, "you are all stupid and ignorant, do I really have to explain everything?!?!? The anesthetic qualities of chloroform were first described in 1842 in a thesis by Robert Mortimer Glover, which won the Gold Medal…,”

“STOOOOOOOOP!” everyone shouts at her, “we don’t need a fucking lesson about who invented that shit,” Jace cuts her off. 

Izzy sighs annoyed and keeps on, “Ok… anyway, Raphael, that wouldn’t really mean drugging Magnus, just giving him a little kick to make him sleep more deeply and not wake up if we ever make noises around him while we're trying to steal his phone.”

She pauses to think a moment, then resumes.

“Do you know that on the 4th of November 1847, James Young Simpson first used the anesthetic qualities of chloroform on a pair of humans, two guests at his dinner party, and that this was done as entertainment and not as a medical procedure?”

“Izzy…,” she hears Raphael say, “Izzy…,” Simon echoes, “...please…,” Jace adds.

Then they turn to Clary, hoping that she will stop her girlfriend from blabbering, only to realize that instead, she is staring at her, eyes wide and mouth open in awe, as if she had just seen an angel.

“Clary?”, Simon says.

“She is so fucking beautiful and amazing when she shows off all that knowledge, isn’t she?”

Simon puts a hand on his face, shaking his head, and turns to Jace, “Her brain is fucking fried dude since she’s started dating your sis.”

Alec, in the meantime, is writing frantically in his notebook.

“Have you written the date, Alec?” Raphael asks him.

Alec stops abruptly and looks back at him.

“No. Why?”

“Cause it’s damn crucial. Haven’t you heard her saying that each small detail you miss could fuck up the whole thing?”

“Oh, thanks, Raphael. Izzy what was...exactly 18...something…?”

“Alec…,” Clary starts, “Alec…,” Simon continues, “Alec…,” Jace ends, “... sometimes I wonder how can you be the first one in your classes…”

“Leave him, Jace,” Clary adds, “he’s just in his _gay panic_ mode…”

“That shows up only when he talks about Magnus…,” Raphael concludes, with a smirk on his face.

Alec takes a moment to think about the interaction and realizes that Raphael was only teasing, so he huffs and turns his eyes back to the sheet of paper. He’s nervously biting the rubber at the end of his pencil when he looks up to Izzy again, a question loud and clear on his face.

“I wanted to ask…”

“Alec!”, Jace stops him, “don’t tell me you're even considering the shit she has just said? I mean… where in the world do we find chloroform in 2020? Uhm?”

“In my lab!”, Izzy adds smiling, “I can do it! I just have to combine some molecules of ….”

“STOOOOOOP!”, they all growl again.

Simon clears his throat and tells her, “Let’s just pretend, as absurd as it sounds, that you do it and that we manage to slip in Magnus room after he's fallen asleep, then put a handkerchief soaked in chloroform on his face and transform him into the Sleeping Beauty... I'm only saying, hypothetically, what’s next?”

Izzy rubs her palms together in excitement, only at the idea, and starts to talk so quickly that Alec's hand hurts for how fast he’s trying to take notes.

“Then we steal his phone, take it to my lab, I will open it and remove the hardware, then connect it to the system we use to track the serial killers' phone’s activities, even the deleted ones, then I will erase all the memory, format it and reinstall the software and then…”

“Wouldn’t it be simpler to just open the FaceTime app and search for the command -- _E_ _rase History_ \-- in the menu?” Raphael retorts, “Izzy, come back to earth, this is not _NCIS,_ ” rolling his eyes and moving a little from them to call Ragnor.

“So… No? No, no, no?”, Izzy asks.

“NO!” they all roar loudly.

It’s then that they realize that Alec has stopped writing. He has that expression on his face, the one that means that he's thinking about something.

He stands up and goes to his room, gently closing the door behind him, leaving them all puzzled.

“Fucking assface...,” Jace says as he grabs Simons’s wrist and drags him toward their room, “he has woken us all for help and just leaves us standing there like morons…”

  
  



	6. Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This was my first round robin and I had a blast collabing with all these peeps!

Alec stares at the notepad on his lap, his scratchy handwriting details all the ideas everyone had thrown out at him. They’re not… the best ideas, but after what he heard during the accidental facetime, he’s desperate for any help. 

He looks at Jace’s idea, while the monkey does seem extreme, burning the house down isn’t that bad of an idea. He could definitely scale it down to a simple kitchen fire. He loves this house too much to lose it entirely. Also, everyone would definitely kill him  _ and _ Jace for even going through with this plan. After some time of debating in his head, he scratches off Jace’s idea and goes to the next.

Clary’s, while a bit much, does seem ideal. Distract Magnus with Simon who can talk a mile a minute while she sneaks in through the window. Complicated, but effective. The only part he doesn’t agree with is Jace being the one to hold Clary up on the grappling line. While his brother is strong, he also knows Clary would try to become Parker and do a fancy flip or something while descending and make Jace let go, ending in her death, which Izzy would never forgive him for. With a sigh, he scratches out her idea.

Alec stares at Simon’s idea. It’s dumb, well not entirely dumb, the whole spy rom-com part is dumb. Leaving the country isn’t a bad idea, if only his passport had not expired. Though that brings up the thought of where would he go? If he up and disappears without a trace, someone would put out a missing person’s report and that would cause more drama than necessary. That also means he wouldn’t get to see Magnus anymore. Alec immediately scratches out Simon’s idea for that thought alone. 

Raphael said to just tell him. Alec’s heart rate begins to spike just at the thought alone. Tell Magnus he heard him masturbate and say his name as he finished? Nope, not gonna happen. Alec would rather set the house on fire and die in the fire before telling Magnus that. Though, Raphael has known Magnus since high school and said that Magnus likes honesty. Alec has never once lied to Magnus before and he’s not about to start. The whole apocalypse and phones shutting down is something, but also would take too long to go into effect and Alec needs a solution now. He scratches out Raphael’s ideas.

His dear sister, while he loves her with everything in him, she is just too chemical happy. Even though Izzy said that chloroform would not hurt Magnus if he’s already asleep, the idea of drugging Magnus doesn’t sit well in his chest. He also knows from the many scientific rambles she has gone on, if Magnus is already awake, the chloroform would take longer to go into effect and that TV shows are horribly inaccurate. He scribbles out her name and idea. 

Alec stares at the notepad that is now one giant scribbly mess and flops back on his bed.

“Back to square one,” he sighs. 

He brings the notepad up to his face and stares at it like somehow all the ideas will mesh into one and give him the answer he’s looking for. With all the crossing out he’s done, it’s barely decipherable, the only words he can truly read are  **_Tell him_ ** from Raphael’s idea. His heart beats again at the thought of telling Magnus.

What if Magnus gets angry at him? Angry that he didn’t hang up the second he realized that Chairman was the one who answered. Alec had every opportunity to hang up and didn’t, too focused on the sounds coming from the man’s lips. Now he’s starting to feel guilty for invading Magnus’s privacy like that. He should be better about that kind of stuff. Before his brain can spiral into more self-loathing thoughts, a knock sounds at his door. 

“Guys, please just leave me alone-,” Alec’s words trail off as he stares at Magnus. Magnus, who is standing in front of him. Magnus, who is still in his silk pajama pants and wearing an open silk robe with nothing underneath it. Magnus, who is not dressed at all for their walk to get coffee. Magnus, who has a very smug grin on his face once Alec’s eyes leave the man’s very defined abs and looks up. “Magnus…. Hi.”

“Hello, Alexander,” Magnus purrs. “Mind if I come in?”

“Uh, yeah sure.” Alec opens the door and lets the older man in. He closes the door behind them and watches as Magnus looks around the room, the grin still not leaving his face. “Is something wrong?”

“Quite the opposite actually,” Magnus states, turning to stare at him.

“Oh,” he says. He waits for Magnus to elaborate, but instead, he sits down on Alec’s bed and leans back on his hands. The robe slips off his shoulders slightly and Alec’s mouth goes dry. “Is there something you wanted to discuss?”

“Most definitely,” Magnus says. “This house is amazing don’t you agree?”

Alec’s brain halts at the random question and his eyebrows furrow. “Yes, it’s been a great place to live for the past two years.”  _ Even better after you moved in last year _ , he thinks. “It’s nice how close it is to campus.”

“Indeed,” Magnus hums. “But do you remember one of the downsides of this house?” Alec shakes his head, nothing off the top of his head comes to mind. Magnus chuckles at his response and leans towards him. “The walls are, very  _ very _ thin.”

Oh.

_ Oh.  _

**_Oh._ **

Magnus heard everything that was said downstairs. He heard everyone’s ideas on how to get his phone while Alec sat there and took notes. On a notepad which he now realizes is on his bed next to Magnus. Magnus catches his eyes darting to the paper and picks it up. He chuckles at the words he can make out in between all the lines Alec made. 

“Raphael had the best solution by the way. I do love honesty when it comes to things like this,” Magnus says. He points at a line on the paper. “Though Chase’s monkey idea did give me a good laugh.”

“I-,” Alec squeaks. What can he even say to make this not seem as bad as it looks? 

Magnus stands from the bed, robe falling off the rest of the way leaving Magnus only in his silk bottoms. Alec begins to back up, words fumbling and stuttering out of his mouth, trying to come up with an answer for everything he heard. Magnus’ grin turns into a full blown smile as Alec’s back hits the bedroom door. 

“I’m sorry?” He stutters out as Magnus stands in front of him.

“Mmm, I would hope so,” Magnus purrs as he sets a hand on Alec’s chest. “There were only so many more not coffee dates I could handle before you got the idea that I am interested in you.”

“Dates? Those were dates?” Alec asks because his brain can’t function right with Magnus being this close.

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles, patting Alec’s chest. “Of course they were dates. I like you.”

“You do?” 

“You were a great help with my studies for my masters for sure, but I also really enjoy your company,” Magnus confesses. 

“That’s-that’s nice,” he says and Magnus laughs.

“I’ve broken you haven’t I?”

“Just a bit,” he says with a small laugh of his own. “I like you too by the way.”

Magnus’ face lights up at the confession and Alec can’t help but swoon at it. The older man always has the best smiles, it’s what had him staring at the man more than his homework during their coffee dates. Oh god, they were dates, he’s an idiot. It couldn’t have been any more obvious. 

He realizes that neither of them has said anything for a hot minute. They’re just staring into each other’s eyes which Alec would never complain about, the man has beautiful eyes. But he’s also shirtless and standing very close to him which means that his brain is really going to stop functioning after all his blood drifts south. Alec lets out a small cough.

“So did you still want to get coffee?”

“Get on the bed, Alexander.”


End file.
